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Dear Ya'll,

What up fam, it’s me, Bear currently writing to you from one of my Mother Land’s, Puerto Rico. I’m on an actual vacation. Like, a real one. I think the last time I took an actual vacation was the only other time I’ve visited this Isle back in 2013. I’m here with my birth mother. We both have had a bit of a rough year and a break, however short, from all the swirling chaos has proved absolutely necessary. Well, we’re approaching the end of a decade, observing the solar Eclipse, and basking in this Capricorn New Moon … to name a few things. The only way out is going deeper and it’s important to look back on where we have come from in order to know where we want to go. At the beginning of the decade, I was still living up Hamakua, in Papaikou, playing gigs around the island and working several jobs to sustain. It would be a few years until ‘On the Verge’ would get recorded in Portland, Oregon and released into the world. I guess I should say burned onto a CD and passed around the world. A few years later, ‘Dark As Night’ would get pieced together. This decade has been huge for me, for all of us, and the world. I was 23 in 2010. Little did I know what a massive journey I would take around the planet and into my soul. It was 7 years ago when I decided to commit my life to this work. It was 5 years ago I stepped into a commitment of ceremony + old ways. I had no idea what I was getting into with either of these commitments, but I knew it felt right and my gut had always lead me to the right place. I was only 3 years into knowing my birth mother’s family in 2010 and hardly a few years had passed since I’d met my birth father’s family. The decade was kind to my restless mind, I needed to know where I sat in the family tree and who I was because of it. Life seems to be just at the most unlikely times and unjust when you’re least expecting it. Yet, we learn to be resilient and pray we don’t become jaded or bitter at the cards we have been dealt. As I continued to transform, grow the f up, and find my place in the world, many things around me changed too. The band changed. The stories + songs changed. The vision shifted and expanded. My world view did, too. The climate and the planet’s cry for help became too much for anyone to ignore and the youth led the way in calling for action + justice for the people and the earth. All the while, each of us was trying to figure out how to survive, what we stood for, and how to participate in the swiftly changing tide. I went from burning that candle at both ends to blowing that shit out and starting over numerous times. There’s nothing wrong with admitting you were wrong and starting from scratch again. That shit is humbling. I went from carefree playing and sharing my music to ‘oh shit, I better figure this thing out and take it seriously or else it may not last beyond tomorrow.’ With age and experience came the game as adults we all tend to participate in: capitalism. All of a sudden, life got all too real and my how I fought it. I am, however, very flexible to a flow once I’ve realized it will serve the music and my purpose better than the direction I was so obsessed with before. I learned what a competition it is out there. How thirsty people are to be successful or on top. How jealous people can be, how manipulative the snakes can be. Or, how much energy they can suck from your big heart without you even realizing it until you snap. It took some pretty rough patches for me to begin to guard myself. In order to expand the message beyond the choir, I had to live a few more years of disillusionment and sacrifice, although not for lack of real magic cultivated and work getting done. I had to learn what taking my power back even meant to me. As I look back on the last decade and set my intentions for this New Moon, I allow myself to feel the pain that comes with falling in love, accountability in shadow work, and in nurturing the inner child. I nod in gratitude to the joys of connection, the grief in therapy and trauma work, and the bliss found in real relationships to self, lovers, family, and community. I sense the new beginnings around the corner, but at a cost and in tandem with a huge letting go and cutting of the old chords. These intentions are about honoring an end to a chapter, the death of an archetype, and saying goodbye to versions of myself that aren’t serving me anymore. Naturally, this applies to people as much as the systems we were born into. The process of unlearning has only just begun. May the Creator give me more grace with this responsibility I have to myself to shut the right doors and open the ones that hold the pathway to my whole self. With these intentions, I acknowledge where I have been in my own way. I acknowledge where I’ve been a part of the problem, face the shame and mourn the death of the person I used to be, and shed the all too easily adorned victimhood of the inner child. In my 33rd year, I learned what it meant to reclaim my voice in all aspects of my life. I learned that sometimes the only love is tough. I earned the seat at the table where my ancestors break bread. I learned how to empower my yes to say no. 20/20 and this next decade will bring a whole new set of challenges with it. It will also bring a whole new meaning to natural beauty and unconditional love, for ourselves and our planet. I’ll be 43 in 2030. I’m going to kick some serious ass in the next 10 years. Sometimes I wish I’d learned faster or had lost less along the way, but I know it was all meant to be that way so I could become the best version of myself and those who will follow after me. There’s still so much unpacking to do in my quiet times, at home, alone. I ran from being alone for so long and now I revel in it and am selfish with it. These intentions and prayers don’t go into effect when the clock strikes midnight on the new year or in the days leading up to the next full moon. Nothing happens overnight. Everything you’ve read thus far will be an ongoing process as the months and years go by in the next decade. I’m grateful for the wisdom I’ve gained through what I’ve lost so that I can ruminate and have something of actual substance to share with you all. Keep going. Heart forward and strong into the new decade. Where we are going we’ve never been before. I am excited to see you all around that bend, in time, along that long, red dirt road that leads us to where we return to our true power. Ahéhee’ + Salamat + Gracias + Mahalo + Hahom Kena Seneko Kakona + - BEAR

 

NAHKO

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Share Your Intentions

FANS INTENTIONS

My intention is to stay present with that comes. No more hiding behind work, booze, all the things we use to stay asleep. I am here to learn, grow, love through compassion and understanding of myself and others.

Gloria

Portland

My intention is to speak up and share my story of surviving domestic violence so that other women know they’re not alone, and to help those women begin to thrive.

Siobhan

Washington State

My intention is to be brave. To not worry about consequences of things I wanna do and to push fear aside so it doesn’t stop me from exploring, living life to the fullest, loving people. I want to be braver overall. Realizing that life is too short to worry about repercussions or things not falling into place like I want. The only way I will know if something works or not is if I try. Be brave.

Jessica

Sperry, OK

This most recent new moon I set the intention to wake up early every day (even if it’s 10 minutes early to do yoga, meditate, journal, read my oracle cards, whatever I need to do/have time to do. It’s been going very well so far!

Jillian

Winston-Salem, NC

Be still more. This world has more voices than your own, more voices than the human. And they have something to tell, something to teach. Be still. Meet. Respect. Bow. Surrender. Life wants to work with you, not against you. So stop talking. Start listening.

Sanne

Nijmegen, Netherlands

Confront the limiting beliefs and actions that I use to stay small. 2020 Intention (a little on the nose) To see clearly, and to clearly be seen.!

Kellie

Cleveland, OH

To remain strong despite the pain. Learn by the wolf, work hard, tend to my cub in fierceness and tenderness. Always play with my pack, dance laugh sing tell crappy jokes who cares. And finally to take time away from the pack to sing my own song to the moon.

Marina

Australia

My intention is to stay present with that comes. No more hiding behind work, booze, all the things we use to stay asleep. I am here to learn, grow, love through compassion and understanding of myself and others.

Gloria

Portland

To remain strong despite the pain. Learn by the wolf, work hard, tend to my cub in fierceness and tenderness. Always play with my pack, dance laugh sing tell crappy jokes who cares. And finally to take time away from the pack to sing my own song to the moon.

Marina

Australia